About Him...

Now i'm just too free that i have plenty of time to think...

Ya i know i should be doing something more useful like spring cleaning (my room is in serious need of that ;P ), continue doing my scrapbook but i'm super lazy at the moment, fb-ing (hmm, maybe not...) but no, i just feel like sitting down and think... Movies are also left untouch..

What am i thinking...? Something that i try to avoid all the time... I did something i never thought i would ever do... I... confessed...thru sms... That is something huge (to me lar..) and eventhough i still find what i did was pretty coward, i knew it took alot of guts on my part just to press the button "send"... Who is that unlucky fella..? It's for me to know, and for u to find out.. ;)

Eventhough i'm trying to keep everything light, this does put me to sleepless nights and self-hate condition at times... A few friends who know, eventhough they do not know him, asked me why i did it... I thought about that too... And i'm certain that it's definitely not cos I want him to fall instantly into my arms (though that wouldn't hurt.. ;P ), but more like i was desperate... not desperate for him... but desperate to let him go... He is a great buddy and i want him to remain just that way.. A great buddy..

I know that if anything goes wrong between us, i only have myself to blame for making things complicated at the 1st place.. I know him well enough to know what kind of gals he like, who he likes and i know very well that i'm not that type of gals...

Many times now, i keep beating myself thinking that how could i have looked so highly of him at 1st place... How i could actually consider him as a good buddy.. Frustration and dissapoinment is a dangerous thing... It can easily ruin a friendship... I almost forgot what made me look up to him, made him one of my closest friends... No matter what happen in the future, i cannot forget that he was nice and has a good heart... And he had helped me alot, whether i realised or didn't.. He supported everything i do and consoled me when i'm down and lost... And there is this one day, ONE day, that made me feel lucky to have him as a friend... That one day that shows me how blessed i am to be surrounded by caring friends... The one day that i must never forget... =)

Conclusion... I'm a dumb-headed... I guess the nickname king kong or gorrila is more meaningful now (but i dun think they are that stupid..)... I just wish our friendship is as strong as i thought it is and overcome any problems that i created... No, i dun regret confessing cos i don't wanna keep on wondering "what if..." But i know i will regret one day if i lose such a good friend...

Hmm... u are probably thinking what's gonna happen if he reads this... Well, i know him enough to be 110% sure that he doesn't read my blog... Even if he happens to stumble (Note the word stumble..) upon this, well there's no harm... I tell him lots of things all the time nway.. Just its abit weird to talk bout him with him rite.. ;) Thx to the few dearest, coolest, most adorable friends who listened and gave me advices... You guys know who you are... ;P

As long as i can still smile, i will be fine... =)

It's karma... =.=